Hello World! I'm just a dude sick of dating. A couple weeks ago I was stuck in a car in Saint George with no leg room, feeling hot, tired, irritated, etc. The girls in the car were just RAVING about Beyonce and BLASTING "If I Were a Boy." Granted, it is a great song, BUT I think they were fangirl-ing way too hard. However over-hyped Beyonce may be by the generic suburban, soda-loving, white college girl, Beyonce and I relate on many levels. Flash forward one week and I'm getting dumped by one of the girls that was in the car. Later, after eating a couple gallons of ice cream, watching way too many over-the-top action movies, and regretting several Tinder matches that never went anywhere, this still hurting man channeled his inner Beyonce Meyonce (ouch, total dad joke), and conjured up a masterpiece reworking of "If I were a boy." So, this "If I were a boy" remake goes out to all of my fellow homies who are sick of women. If I w